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You turned in an essay, and it didn’t feel like you did a very good job. You expected a C, but it comes back with an A, and you can’t figure out why. Maybe you competed in an athletic tournament and did really well — only all you can think about are all the mistakes you made. You’re always afraid of failing, or getting cut from the team, even though everyone generally seems nice to you and treats you like you belong. It’s like you have a secret, that you’re not as good as everyone thinks you are, and you’re scared one day they’ll wake up and figure it out.

Chances are, what you’re feeling is called imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome sounds like its about spies or body swapping, but it’s really all about feeling like you’re a fake and you don’t deserve the praise you get. It’s one of the tricky ways our brains lie to us, and it’s tied into your self-esteem.

What Is It?

Imposter syndrome is a form of anxiety. It’s not a formally diagnosable condition — which is to say, it’s not like being bipolar or any other official diagnosis. It’s something that can happen to anyone, and it can come and go. Basically, people struggling with imposter syndrome will see all of their hard work and not recognize it as being good enough. They feel like a fraud, like they’re going to get caught out and rejected, despite tons of evidence that they are smart or talented. Some people attribute it to luck, while others have difficulty accepting compliments. It’s a lot like being told you’re pretty, and thinking, “Pfft, they’re just saying that because they’re nice,” but applied to everything.

Imposter syndrome can be tied to poor self-esteem or to anxiety. When you have a hard time seeing your talents as talents, it’s hard to see that your accomplishments, big or small, count. After all, if you don’t think you’re worth much, how can you think the things you do are worth much?

Who Gets It?

Anyone can feel like an imposter. When imposter syndrome was originally studied in the ‘70s, it was first noticed among successful, accomplished women. And while imposter syndrome still seems to affect women more than men, it can absolutely happen to both. It tends to show up most in high-achieving people — often students who regularly hit the honor roll, athletes who constantly push themselves to be the best, or artists who spend countless hours practicing their art. They might feel the drive to work harder to keep up the disguise or prevent anyone from seeing their flaws and discovering they don’t deserve their good reputation. Someone who is typically good at math but might struggle with a something new and challenging could suddenly question their abilities and feel like a fake. The truth is, they are good at what they do. They deserve their praise. They just have a hard time believing it.

Tons of celebrities experience imposter syndrome. Emma Watson, who played Harry Potter’s smartest girl, Hermione, has talked about feeling like a fraud. So has Natalie Portman, Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool himself), Lady Gaga, and Tina Fey.

How to Deal With It

It’s important to work through feeling like a fraud or not good enough. Imposter syndrome can eat away at self-esteem, which leads to anything from anxiety to looking for escape in harmful things, like drugs and alcohol. Primarily, though, people should be able to enjoy their successes and feel secure.

Here are some tips to help you deal:

• Remember it’s normal. Everyone feels like a fraud sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with you, and you are not a fraud.
• Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone is different. If someone else picks up a skill or knowledge faster, that has nothing to do with your worth or value.
• Look at your accomplishments. Remind yourself of all the good things you did. Critically examine it, and think of the work you put into it.
• Talk to a mentor or role model. If you’re really struggling, they can provide a reality check and tell you if it’s all in your head or help you out if you need it.
• Check the reality of your goals. Perfectionists can set their goals way too high or demand unrealistic standards of themselves. If you feel like a failure, you might be setting yourself up to fail.
• Having to work harder than normal is OK. Hard work is admirable, so if you need to work harder to master something, that’s not just okay — it’s commendable. Make sure to utilize your time in a constructive way, and not an obsessive way. After all, doing new things or things out of your comfort zone is tough. You should be proud of your work!
• Dive in. Don’t let fear of being a fraud keep you from doing something. Sometimes the best way to get over it is to start whatever you’re afraid to do.
• Treat yourself with kindness, the way you want other people to treat you. We can be our own worst critics, often unfairly so. And if you’re having a hard time imagining that you deserve kindness, treat yourself with the kindness you give to others.