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Sending a child to college can be a terrifying prospect. After nearly twenty years of intimate decision-making in your children’s lives, the prospect of sending them to a campus where you will only have distant communication and occasional involvement is hard to comprehend and can weigh heavily on parents’ minds.

 

However, with the right mindset and approach, the occasion can be turned into a positive experience, not just for the children, but for the parents as well. This article will take a look at some of the cares and concerns that parents face when sending their children to college as well as some ways that they can help impact and shepherd the transition in the best way possible.

Why Parents Worry

It’s no secret that college can come with some inherent risks. After all, it’s a place filled to the brim with immature yet newly independent teeneagers making the often difficult shift into adult life. From the excitement of new independence to the depression and fear that can come with all of the new responsibilities, college students are often confronted with tough situations that they’ve never faced before, and it’s important that parents don’t just stick their heads in the sand and fearfully hope things go well. On the contrary, there are ways to be proactive about the situation.

Understanding Who is at Fault

It can be helpful to understand where the legal lines are drawn when it comes to some of the different dangers and risks associated with schools for all ages. For instance, if a school has slippery walkways or an on-campus accident with a school vehicle like a bus, chances are the school will at be at least partially at fault in an injury occurs. However, if your child is being reckless or careless, it’s much easier for a school to be excused from responsibility.

 

It’s important to understand where the fault lies, and parents should take the time to make these things clear to their largely innocent, inexperienced children beforethey step foot on campus or in their dorm rooms. The reckless, fun-loving side of college life is well-documented and can be a great experience in moderation. However, it can also quickly spin out of control. It’s critical that children understand where to draw the line between fun and danger when attending college in order to prevent getting themselves into sticky situations.

Don’t Act Invincible

It’s also important that new college students understand that, even if they’re doing everything right, it doesn’t mean they are impervious to things like assault or even petty theft — which happens to be one of the most common on-campus issues. From excessive drinking and unsafe sex to literal, physical danger, make sure that both you and your child go into the college experience with both eyes open.

 

Remember, knowing is half of the battle. An informed child is much more likely to recognize danger and avoid it. In other words, it’s worth taking the time to talk about these things before your children find themselves faced with the situations themselves.

Making it a Good Experience

Risks aside, another consideration for parents is how to maintain healthy relationships with their kids when they head off to college. The good news is that there are many different ways to get involved in your children’s college experience without stepping on their newly found freedom in the process. Here are some suggestions for how to help keep that parent-child relationship strong while simultaneously showing support and encouragement to your children as they begin to establish themselves in the world.

Help Them Prepare

It’s important to understand what it means to help your child as a peer and not to simply make decisions for them as if they’re still in kindergarten. The first step is to open a dialogue on equal footing with them. Ask them questions about their interests, see if they can identify their strengths, and help guide them towards tangible ways to act on these passions and abilities without simply telling them what they should do. Remember, the goal here is to help them learn about themselves as they transition into responsible, independent, functioning adults.

Make Sure College is the Right Choice

This one may seem like too little, too late, but it goes right along with helping them to prepare. Remember, college is a valuable part of the educational system, but it isn’t the only option available to an ambitious person. Apprenticeships also provide viable career paths, and even within the context of brick-and-mortar educational facilities, vocational schools can be excellent alternatives to a traditional college setting.

 

As you parse through your child’s loves, cares, ambitions, skills, interests, and so on, help them to settle not just on what major to choose or college to attend. Make sure they also understand that there are other options out there. At the least, this will help them understand that going to college is a choice and not something that they simply have to endure to be successful. This will come especially be important if they decide to attend for a semester, or even a year, and come to find that college is not the path for them, as it will make leaving college feel like a personal choice, rather than “a failure.”

Volunteer together

Another great way to help pave the way for your children’s college and career is to volunteer together. This isn’t just a way to teach them the benefits of work outside of the scope of finances, it also helps their resumes(as well as your own) and can do wonders in helping them gain exposure to both working and networking with like-minded individuals.

 

The best thing about this one is that if your child ends up at a local college, you can use volunteering as a good way to maintain your relationship and get face-to-face time together without seeming overly intrusive.

The Difficult Transition to Being a Peer

One of the most difficult things in life is figuring out how to transition from treating your offspring as children to treating them as peers. Remember, your kids will make the wrong decisions at times. They may also seem rudderless or passionless, but often that’s simply because they’re overwhelmed by the freedom, independence, and responsibilities of grown-up life (even if they’ve claimed to be longing for it for all of this time!).

 

It’s important that parents take the time to be supportive during the transition to college, helping their kids when they require it and offering words of wisdom when they’ll listen. However, an overly proactive and intrusive involvement can often produce the opposite effect, which is why it’s critical that parents approach the transition to college with care and love, rather than control and fear.